"Good. I've had enough disappointment for one lifetime."'
| Benjamin Jay Tate | |
|---|---|
| |
| Nickname | Ben |
| Karma | Renegade of the Wastes |
| Age | 34 |
| Gender | Male |
| Eye Color | Green |
| Hair Color | Brown |
| Class | Wastelander |
| Profession | Sphinx Head of Security |
| Affiliation | The Sphinx |
| Face Claim | Hugh Dancy |
| Player | Squeeji/MNV |
History[]
Background[]
Ben isn't exactly forward about where he came from, but from his accent, it sounds like he might have come California way, in reality he was born in Shady Sands, the only son from a well to do family. His father, a semi-retired General was on the NCR military council, and his mother was on several committees, and his sisters each married well or joined the military which assured they were long gone before Benjamin had gotten into the picture.
Of course, the terms of how the boy made it into the picture was one wrought with scandal, as rumors flew on whether or not he wasn't a product of one of hte General's affairs, but there was no real proof of all that, as the Tates were a family of secrets, and Benjamin found himself growing up as neglected asa ny other child that grew up within that home. As his parents were always out and about with their other more professional and pressing matters...no the majority of his raising was done by the hands of lovely and ever changing nannies and tutors.
Ben was happy to fade into the wallpaper it allowed him to indulge in behavior his father particularly frowned upon...a quiet bookish child, he filled his home schooled life with information that his vastly lacking education didn't give him- he gobbled up everything, papers, magazines anything of print didn't escape his hungry mind-he especially loved information about technology...or the rare Science Fiction book that passed through his hands. He often dreamt of something bigger than his small life; through out his young life, Ben's time outside home was the three times a week he dressed up and sent to look nice at fancy political functions.
As Ben grew older, his behavior went from shy to something more erratic, always considered a bit off, it came apparent that by the time he hit puberty that he was more than a bit disturbed, he had grown wild and often inconsolable, prone to fits and accusations. While his parents wondered what happened...what went wrong, Benjamin ended up going out less and less as the dirty little secret that his family tried to keep from prying eyes looking for a means to tear the Tates apart.
By the time he was considered an adult, Ben found himself on a cocktail of medications that suppressed most, if not all of his symptoms- as well as the majority of his ability to feel. But he knew he wasn't happy, he couldn't stay out in the middle of nowhere forever, his father expected so much of him, wanting him to follow after his foot steps, but not even all the string pulling in the would get someone like him into the ranks of the NCR, much to Benjamin's despair and dismay, he was trapped. Always looked at like he was some great disappointment maybe if they were lucky he could be married off, seen but not heard, but most likely he'd be forgotten.
His world was too small, he felt like he was suffocating, so without saying much of anything, he packed his bags and left eastward with a caravan, aimlessly heading towards the Mojave before he could further prove himself a failure. The whole while he racked his mind, tattered as it was, trying to figure what he'd do with himself, he had no real marketable skills, at least in his mind, he had been set up, and only for the fall...
Only upon reaching the great shining oasis of New Vegas did things start falling into place for Benjamin, the city was dirty, and the only true sanctuary for people like himself, some nameless, faceless piece of trash like himself was truly someone there. He fell into a bad sort of mentality quickly there, using his wits to get by, he started to count cards, trick slots, and generally grift himself a life...and what a life it was while it lasted, he was living large, any thing was in his grasp, so he became a high roller, and while that was success...it wasn't anything that filled him with any joy. After all, he didn't deserve it and while it might have been the lack of drugs in his system causing his self hatred- he had cheated his way to the top.
So as things tumbled apart, he almost welcomed it, first was The Ultra-Lux, then The Tops, and finally the Gomarrah, there wasn't one he wasn't finally caught and kicked out of after getting himself beaten as a reminder that he wasn't welcomed. Rock bottom was something he was used to after all, soon he ran out of caps between spending them all or getting robbed as he lived on streets, he became a desperate thing that fought every day to survive, and did a pretty shit job doing it. The only thing he really had going for him was that he was sick, but not the same sort of sick that everyone else seemed to be getting.
It wasn't until recently that he was approached by Abraham Wright, a stranger that had taken a certain interest in him, stating that only a criminal could serve as the best security for his casino's interests. Benjamin was skeptical, but Wright was persuasive, and money talked, so did cleaning him up and getting him off the dingy strip, he was set up as Head of Security for The Sphinx, programming his Anubistrons, as well as monitoring the video feeds on the casino floor. It might be the life of the high roller, but the man finds the living more easy to swallow, if anything its an honest enough living.
As it is, he's Wright's wunderkind, and he's all but forgiven his eccentricities, but kept up and out of the way of the floor where his fits and peculiarities cna be ignored, something Benjamin is all too familiar with, and he takes it with as much grace as he's always had, which is not much, but expectations are low, do his job and look good enough to seem presentable...seems you can never go home, but you're always there.
Continuing Adventures[]
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Death[]
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Personality[]
Quiet, all of his life Ben stayed quiet so he could listen and watch, watch and learn- people, places...things. He never wanted to miss anything because since he’s been young it has felt like entire world was out to get him, everything stared daggers, hinted at threats and every shadow has a conspirator.
Worse off, he’s painfully aware of his condition, and does not try to pretend that he’s anything but a sick man, so much so that he’s all but torn himself down until he thinks he’s nothing more than a thing, rather than a person, and that has only gotten more pronounced as he grew older. But his self-deprivation…it is something that he can control, unlike most of his life, and he hangs onto it like a drowning man. He either feels in control of his misery or overwhelmed by it. It has made him one of two things, either he's a frantic high-strung mess akin to a wild bird stuck in a cage or a listless bereft creature that seems to wistfully wait for life to pass away.
He often feels trapped, stuck in a constant rut of being somewhere that is too small for him in a world that is so big. Ben is a prisoner of his own mind and has been acting out since he was young. Outside looking in has always been his view on his ability to deal with people, so he's prone to acting out trying to make sure he isn't invisible like he believes he is. He's reactive, impetuous and frankly self destructive. Which was probably why The Strip called to him when he when he got out on his own. there is no lack of lost souls there, and a person can get lost and forgotten while they do unspeakable things. Now while he's mostly a good guy, he often gets into perilous positions just to 'feel alive'. He doesn't do it for the thrill, but just to remind himself he's there and he's real- gambling, drinking, picking fights, even the occasional pointless pairing with a stranger...he isn't terribly picky, but it has gotten him in trouble more than once in his life.
He's often lonely, but his own behavior keeps him from making lasting connections with people, and his own inflated morals keep him from damning others from dealing with dealing with his strangeness, feeling its unfair for someone to have to empathize with someone like him, even if that might soothe the pain for himself. Without thinking about it, he tries to push people away. He's good at alienating those around him by merit of just his appearance alone, if he didn't have to clean himself up for his job, he wouldn't, and there's still something about him that seems 'off'- and that’s not even taking into consideration the peculiar quirks and ticks that direct his day to day life, usually causing him to go headlong into discussions with those much more normal than himself often with disastrous results, more self fulfilling prophecy than anything, he can talk rather pretty if he puts his mind to it, but often comes off as obtuse, aloof, and generally an arrogant prick
Even so, he hungers for someone to understand him -to be appreciated and to return the favor. But he's always skeptical of a friendly face or any kindness put upon him, it's always been that way and it has only gotten worse as he delved into the world opened eyes to what really is out there. Though he tries to keep his paranoia at bay there’s always a niggling part in the back of his mind that reminds him that any acquaintance could just be another antagonist in disguise.
However, when he finds someone willing to spend time with him and forgive his eccentricities- that he actually can trust, he's loyal to a fault, doting and caring towards those he cares for with an affection that seems abnormal to those who would only know him in passing. He just wants to prove his own appreciation, even though on occasion he can be a bit clingy. Patient with them to the point of being exasperating, he seemingly forgives any slight against him, for better or for worse. Though in that sense he's a generous companion, more than willing to give up his time, his patience and his attention to anyone that he deems more tolerable than most, often to the point where's he's drowning in concern for them rather than himself, which is a blessing in disguise if you ask him, other people's problems are always so much easier than his own.
Appearance[]
Ben looks fine at first glance, normal if not a bit haggard from working too many long hours and far too hard, eyes a bit baggy and sunken, but otherwise he looks relatively normal- he looked sick before all the illness starting going around, now he damn near looks the picture of perfect health. Though hidden under his clothes, from the neck down Ben is a hot mess, small cuts are half healed around his biceps and thighs, though mostly a habit he's done with there are some obviously fresher than others- which probably are related to the large diagonal slits that go nearly from his inner elbow to his wrist...which is why he's so fond of long sleeves. Also miserably farsighted, he often wears glasses when he's doing detail work, which in his line of work is all the time.
Relations[]
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Quotes[]
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